Back to Elementary School
by Dumbledork
Summary: After the mushrooms of time are destroyed without Ranma being restored to his rightful age the young boy has to flee for his life just to end up run over and killed by a truck after trying to save a kid. Is this really the end for our unfortunate hero?
1. When he died

Hi everyone. I know what a lot of you are thinking right now: _'Another new fic? Why doesn't the idiot rather work on _'?_

Don't worry. I haven't abandoned any of my fics and I'm still working on all of them. Blame my laziness for the lack of updates... and all the time I spend at work either working or reading fics.

Some of you may have read the first draft in the preview sections of 'fukufics' and the 'fanfiction forum', but this is almost a complete rewrite. I got rid of the weakness moxibustion part for one and made a lot of other changes, especially the conversation between Ranma and Cologne. I corrected some spelling mistakes, but if you should still find any I'd be very happy if you could point them out to me.

This idea has been trotting in my head ever since I've read the first chapter of 'Ichinensei ni Nacchattara' and I couldn't get rid of it. Well, what's the best method of getting rid of an idea? Realizing it of course. Consider it done with this prologue.

Most of you have probably never heard of 'Ichinensei ni Nacchattara', but you can find the first 31 translated chapters at 'Taruby's Paradox'. Since I can't post any links here just google it. The manga is funny as hell and really entertaining. Just give it a try.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: THE CURSE IS NOT LOCKED!

But first the usual disclaimer: None of the characters, series, or locations belong to me. I'm not making any money with this.

**PROLOGUE: WHEN HE DIED**

A crying, seven year old boy was running through the streets of Nerima. _'Damn them all to hell. My life is over. How can I ever meet my mother looking like this? Manly? What a joke. There's nothing manly about this puny body'. _

'_No__! Calm down, Ranma! There's always a way. You got out of worse situations. Think. There must be a solution to this'_. He stopped running and the tears slowly dried up as some of his customary self-confidence came back. He continued his way at a more sedate pace, deep in thoughts and the tactical part of his brain working in overdrive. '_Looking for the mushrooms won't help. With Ryoga's sense of direction who knows where he might have found them the first time. Hmmm… Who could I ask? Who here knows the most about magic and might have a cure'? _He considered everyone he knew, allies and enemies alike, but the list boiled down to two people who might be able to help him… and to be frank he'd rather not ask any of them _'The lech is old as dirt and has a lot of experience with magical artefacts. Too bad his attempts always backfire and I'm usually the one who has to pay for it, and since the falling out we had a few days ago we're not even on speaking terms. I doubt that he'll willingly help once he sees me. He'll find it hilarious; I'm sure of it'. _

'_That leaves one other possibility. __The ghoul is a crafty old biddy and knows a lot about magical lore. And from what I've seen so far the Amazons have a large quantity of magical artefacts and cursed items and know how to use them, but I'm not too keen on being in their debt. Who knows what they'll ask of me… except for the obvious, of course. _

'_But then, there have also been times when Cologne has helped me and taught me some incredible techniques. Okay, there has always been an ulterior motive, but the Amazons are not inherently evil like the old perv and Nabiki, they just live by their own rules. Yes, Cologne is my best bet. Guess I'll head to the Nekohanten and hope that the price I'll have to pay for a cure won't be too steep'._

'_I just don't know how to handle the matriarch.__ She's one of the most cunning people I know and she'll exploit any weakness I show; she'll probably come up with another one of their obscure laws to make me marry Shampoo or have me be their slave. No way in hell will I ever accept that; I don't want to be either a slave or breeding stock'. (1) _

He was trying to find think of any alternatives, but his efforts were in vain since he couldn't come up with any better ideas. Sighing loudly he sat down on a bench to compose himself before entering the lion's den. The one person he had to look out for was Mousse. Shampoo wouldn't attack him and Cologne had other means at her disposal. Mousse however was a loose cannon; an honourless bastard who didn't care for any collateral damage or endangering innocent people in his quest to kill Ranma… even if half of the time he got the wrong person. Yesterday's incident had proven that point once again. Out of the blue he had attacked chibi-Ranma and chibi-Ryoga without even knowing who they were, just because they looked like younger versions of his rivals. And what a beating it had been. The pigtailed boy was barely able to move after he'd been put through the wringer. Mousse would pay for that the pigtailed boy vowed… well, once he was back to normal of course. But that was for later. For now he had to make sure he could talk to Cologne before he was spotted by the duck. At least Cologne would protect him from the insane boy… or so he hoped at least.

While he was sitting there lost in his thoughts he remembered. Every event that ultimately led to his flight vividly came back to him.

*****FLASHBACK*****

Ranma and Ryoga had been stuck in their child bodies for two days now and were getting more and more desperate to get back to their original age ever since Akane confiscated the last of the mushrooms and spores after she got exasperated with their constant squabbles about who would be the first to get a mushroom. Their constant fights had caused a lot of damage to the house and the shorthaired girl was not sure that there would be much of the structure left if the mushrooms were kept in their reach. So she put the flower pot into her room where the mushrooms could slowly grow without interference. That didn't stop the impatient kids though, and they sneaked inside the teenaged girl's room and wreaked havoc inside, upending every drawer and searching every corner to find their salvation. But when they heard the owner of the room come back they hid inside a drawer of the dresser in fear of what the unbalanced girl might do to them if she found them.

Akane was shocked when she saw the state her room was in and she silenty vowed to make the culprits pray. Before she could go on a rampage however she heard Nabiki's voice calling her.

"Hey, Akane, the mushrooms are 16 cm now." Nabiki had retrieved the mushrooms from her sister's room earlier that day since she knew that Ranma and Ryoga would try to get the mushrooms at any price and deemed them safer in her own room, which in the end was the case.

This lifted the girl's mood at once and all thoughts of punishing the burglars left her mind. "That's great news! Thanks for watching them, Nabiki."

The boys became restless when they heard the news and as soon as Akane had left the room they tried to get out of the dresser. Unfortunately, the drawer was stuck and they had to blow it up to get out. Just at that moment a happy Akane walked into the room with two plates with one mushroom of time on each of them. Unfortunately the loud explosion had incinerated the fungi on the spot.

"Where's the mushrooms?" Ranma asked in a hopeful voice.

When the young girl showed them the charred remains the boys' faces fell.

"I… I'm sorry," Akane answered sadly, "those were the last ones. Please try to be brave… and start your lives over again," she continued, tears forming in her eyes.

After hearing the shocking news Ranma lost it and ran out of the room as fast as he could and fled from the Tendo compound.

Ryoga was rooted on the spot, shaking his head in denial as he was slowly falling to pieces.

Akane smirked; she was quite proud of her little act and they deserved a little payback for destroying her dresser. "Relax. I was just joking," Akane calmed the young boy down. "Gods, you really fell for it."

"Really?" Ryoga asked full of hope.

"Yes. In fact, I hid the remaining mushrooms and spores in Nabiki's room as I was sure you'd try a stunt like this. And now, with Ranma gone for a while it should be safe to retrieve them, but only if you promise to behave yourself, Ryoga. I know it's mostly Ranma's fault for always picking on you, but you're not entirely blameless either.

Ryoga promised to be good. The female martial artist knew that she could trust the bandanna wearing boy's words. "Wait here. I'll bring you one."

The fanged kid didn't dare moving from the spot as he would just get lost once again. And that wouldn't do, especially now that he was about to be cured and finally could get revenge on the bane of his life. He was already coming up with ways to permanently deal with his nemesis. He didn't have to wait long since the youngest Tendo was back less than a minute later.

"Here you go," she handed the kid two 16 cm mushrooms. The second one is for Ranma if you should find him before us. There's a spare in the pot and we can always grow more."

He took the mushrooms and immediately swallowed one, relieved when he felt his body grow. Too bad he didn't take into account that his clothes wouldn't grow with him. With a loud "RIIIIIIIIIP!" the clothes fell apart leaving the rapidly blushing teenager standing there in the buff.

Akane's built-in pervert radar activated and with a shout of "PERVERT!" she malleted the poor boy through the wall and into Nabiki's room. Unfortunately, the wall wasn't the only thing that had been damaged by the attack as Ryoga had landed on the worst possible spot: the flowerpot the mushrooms were growing in.

Not even worse for wear he got up and dusted his clothes off. The others had followed him into the room and when Akane's eyes fell on the ruined mushrooms she almost fainted. The pot was in pieces and all that was left of the mushrooms was a barely recognizable goop. "Oh no! The mushrooms!"

Ryoga followed Akane's gaze and when he saw the damage he chuckled. That was simply perfect. It couldn't have gone any better if he had planned it. Finally his revenge was perfect. With the mushrooms gone there was no way for Ranma to ever recover his normal age. He had finally won. Akane was his now since he was sure that the love of his life would never date a little kid.

When he saw the Tendos and Genma approach he did his best to look as miserable as possible, but he found it very difficult to hide his glee. "I'm sorry. I… I fell on the mushrooms. I didn't mean to," he apologized, and was quite proud of his performance. The idiots really bought it.

Akane was weeping as she saw the disaster, once again cursing her temper. "It wasn't your fault, Ryoga. I know you're not a pervert like Ranma. I overreacted once again, and because of that I destroyed the last chance for Ranma to get back to normal." She was really crying now and gladly accepted her older sisters' embrace when they hugged her protectively, pain visible on both of their faces.

"Don't worry, sis," Nabiki tried to calm Akane down. "Ranma will find a way out of this mess. He always does."

"Do you really think so?" She asked her mercenary sister.

"Yes. I'm sure of it. Nothing keeps him down for long as you should have noticed by now. Don't give up hope."

"Nabiki's right," Kasumi added her two cents. "Ranma always manages to bounce back. We'll help the both of you through this any way we can."

"Thank you," she answered and gave her sisters a timid smile.

*********END FLASHBACK*****

Ryoga had left the sisters to their grieving and when he passed the bathroom on his way to who knows where he spotted one of his outfits peeking out of the hamper. Astonished at his newfound luck het quickly put his clothes on and left the house in search of his defeated nemesis. Once he was a safe distance away he couldn't keep his joy in any longer. "YES! I did it. I defeated Ranma! HAHAHAHAHA!" He maniacally shouted, not caring about the strange looks he got from the passersby and danced through the streets, not unlike a certain doctor after he's been exposed to Kasumi. _'Now I just need to find him and rub it in his nose'_. Apparently his lucky streak continued as he stumbled upon the pensive boy a few moments later. Ranma was so deep in thoughts that he hadn't noticed the heavily muscled person's approach until he was being lifted into the air by the scruff of his neck.

The surprised child barely managed to turn his head and was shocked to see his rival standing there in his teen body, grinning sinisterly. "Ry-Ryoga? Why are you back to normal? Did the effect of the mushrooms wear off?"

The fanged boy just chuckled and was really savouring the moment. Seeing Ranma's shocked an envious look was a dream come true for the vengeful martial artist. "No it didn't. I'm afraid the effects are quite permanent. Akane had some mushrooms left. If you'd stayed you would have seen that she was just acting. But then, this is probably what she intended. What better way to get rid of an unwanted fiancé but to tell him that he'll have to relive his childhood, don't you think. But then, in her eyes you're a freak, aren't you? She's told you that often enough and it seems like this time she found the perfect way to get out of the unwanted marriage arrangement. If you only knew how often she's ranted about your dishonourable ways in the presence of her precious P-Chan. Such a sweet girl definitely needs someone better than a womanizing sex-changing freak like you. She's never really accepted your curse and is afraid of what other people might think if she got married to a sex changing perverted freak like you."

Seeing the trembling Ranma hanging in the air he snorted. "You're pathetic. You're not even worth my time. I won't kill you, since it would be really dishonourable for me to bully someone who's much weaker than me. Can't say the same thing about the others, though. Can you imagine how Mousse and Kuno will react once they learn about what has happened to you? If I were you I'd run far away and hope that they'll never find me.

Being as emotionally drained as he was at the moment Ranma didn't realize that Ryoga was making the story up of course, but after all that has been happening to him lately he was rather out of it and the thought of questioning the veracity of Ryoga's speech didn't even cross his mind. The news was enough to completely break his heart and he started to cry in earnest, letting go of all of his bottled up feelings.

But the fanged teen wasn't finished decided that now was the right time to give the coup de grace. "Oh, before I forget, don't bother going back to the dojo for the cure. I made sure to destroy all the remaining mushrooms as well as the spores. And if I were you, I wouldn't return at all. After all, who needs a little kid that can't even defend his fiancée? With all the trouble you always cause and all the rivals out for your head you'd better get away as fast and as far as possible if you don't want to put the Tendos in danger. I'll be Akane's knight in shining armour from now on."

"You bastard!" Ranma cried while he ineffectively tried to kick the older boy in the shins. If he hadn't been dangling in the air that attacks might even had stung a bit, but with no leverage at all the kicks didn't even tickle the teenager.

Much to Ranma's horror his enemy just chuckled, frustrating him even more. He couldn't hold up very long and soon exhausted himself completely, the fanged boy not worse for the wear.

To add insult to injury Ryoga simply dropped Ranma to the ground and wordlessly walked away at a slow pace not once looking back. Why should he? There was no way a small kid like him could hurt him now. Inwardly he was grinning like mad. In the end he had won. He had completely defeated his nemesis without having to kill him. There were no more credible obstacles to Akane's heart since Kuno really wasn't a serious contender. The fanged martial artist felt much better now that the cause of all his hardships in life was out of the picture. With Ranma neutralized he was the best martial artist of his generation. No more playing second fiddle to the de-aged martial artist. While he was enjoying his victory he didn't notice that in the meantime he had gotten lost once again while he was on his way back to the dojo.

"Damn it! Every single time. RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Old habits die hard as they say, and even the euphoria he had been feeling earlier was very rapidly being replaced with a solid depression once again. Some people were probably simply not meant to be happy.

Ranma hadn't noticed any of that and wouldn't have cared anyway. He had his own problems to deal with and while he normally would have laughed quite a bit at Ryoga's misfortune, happiness was the furthest thing from his mind. Quite the contrary was true. Where he had been depressed before meeting the bandanna clad boy he was now feeling completely hopeless. The mushrooms were really gone, and he was sure Ryoga wouldn't be making up something like that. He looked much too ecstatic to be making that up. And all the other things he had said… If they were true Ranma could never return to the Tendos until he got a cure. He really believed Ryoga's story since he had witnessed more than once Akane taking the pig's side. What if she truly hated him? Fact was that the youngest Tendo usually trusted Ryoga's word more than her own fiancé's.

'_Well, who needs them anyway'_, Ranma defiantly thought getting some of his 'never-say-die attitude back. First of all he needed to find a cure. He could deal with the fanged teen later.

He walked to his destination much more confidently, but kept an eye on his surroundings. Ryoga had been right when he said that Ranma was now easy pickings for his rivals, and Mousse had already proven that he had no problem attacking small kids. As he got closer to the restaurant he slowed down and used all of his stealth skills to approach the door unnoticed. He checked his surroundings once more, but not seeing anyone he knocked on the door hoping that it wasn't the blind idiot who would answer the door.

"The restaurant is closed. Come back later." He heard a familiar old voice shout through the door.

"It's me, Ranma. Open up, please!"

He heard a key turn in the lock and the door opened immediately afterwards.

"What can I do for you son-in…?" The crone blinked once… twice and looked rather puzzled at the boy standing in front of the door. '_What the…_' She didn't understand. The ki signature of the kid was unmistakably Ranma's; she had already felt it before opening the door, but the reduced size of the martial artist came as a real surprise and left her speechless. '_A brother? No, that can't be. There are no two similar ki signatures in the world._' She had seen a lot in her admittedly long life, probably much more than any other person alive, but she was completely unprepared for this new craziness. It could only be her son-in-law. '_But then, how…_'

"Sorry about that," he apologized and scratched the back of his head with his hand.

This simple, but typical gesture for her son-in-law put any doubts she had had to rest, and she chuckled loudly. "Only you, son-in-law. Things like these can only happen to you. And here I thought I'd seen it all. This I really need to hear. One thing's for sure. Life is never boring with you around. Come in and tell me about it. I'm sure there's quite a story behind your…," she looked him up and down, "… state."

Ranma followed Cologne into the restaurant. "Sit down at the table. I'll prepare us some tea and you can tell me how you ended up like that."

The pigtailed boy was fidgeting in his seat while he waited for Cologne to come back. Experience has told him that he needed a lot of patience with the old woman and that he couldn't risk irritating her if he ever wanted to return to normal. He didn't have to wait long though, as Cologne came back but a few minutes later.

After pouring hot tea into Ranma's cup and her own she sat down, took a large sip from her cup and comfortably settled into the chair. Seeing the unsettled state her pigtailed boy was in she patiently waited for him to start his tale.

And what a tale it was. He told her everything that had happened to him over the last two days until right to his last confrontation with Ryoga. "…And then… and then I came here; I don't know who else I can turn to."

"You put too much faith in my abilities, son-in-law. It's true that I know a lot, and that my nation has a proud past and very long history, but we're not miracle workers. I know a lot about the supernatural and magic, but honestly I have no idea how to reverse the effects of those mushrooms. I've heard the legends of course, but never before have I witnessed the effects of the mushrooms. Believe me when I tell you that I've been looking for them myself, but no luck… and it's the village idiot who finds them. Well, I shouldn't be too surprised about that. He always stumbles upon defective miracle cures or faulty magical artefacts."

She gave the teen sitting in front of her a pitying look. "I'm really sorry. I wish I could do something for you, but I can't. I can write back to the village and ask the lore master if she has an idea, but personally I don't know of a cure. I'd tell you if I knew, especially if I could get you to finally accept your marriage to my Shampoo as a return service."

"I'm not her husband!" The boy vehemently denied as he jumped up from the chair. "I don't love her, especially not after all the crap she has done to me since I've known her. First she tries to kill me for a stupid reason; next she wants to marry me for an even more stupid reason. When I refuse she uses every dirty trick in the book like love potions, joining me in bed or in the bath in the nude, attacking the other girls, trying to discredit me in their eyes, trying to discredit THEM in my eyes,… I admit, she's a beautiful girl, but so are the others. All the crap she's pulled has killed any affection I might have had for her."

"You already are her husband, like it or not," the old woman interrupted him. "You defeated her in combat and she gave you the kiss of marriage just like our laws demand it. There's nothing you, me, or anyone else can do about it now."

Ranma had been having a terrible few days and the mention of marriage had been the straw that broke the camel's back and caused the pigtailed martial artist to release all the pent up anger and frustration at once. "BULLSHIT!" The enraged child banged his fist on the table. "I never agreed to that and your laws are invalid anyway. I'm not as stupid or gullible as you might think I am. I asked some friends at school and they directed me to the public library where I found some easy-to-understand books on Japanese law, and I found some very interesting information which basically leads to one important fact: we are in Japan and your insignificant tribal laws mean squat here. You're in a foreign country and you have to follow that country's rules. Shampoo can give all the kisses she wants, but they aren't legally binding which renders the kiss of marriage invalid. I also doubt the validity of the kiss of death, even if it was given in your village. I can't imagine the Chinese government acknowledging your laws which basically give you the right to kill people you don't like, especially foreigners.

And that's not all. I also figured out why you don't simply kidnap me or force me to marry Shampoo, and Nabiki confirmed my suspicions. I'm a Japanese citizen and kidnapping me would cause an international incident between Japan and China and move your little backwater region into the spotlight. You are only a few thousand people at best, and not all of them fighters. You wouldn't be able to defeat the combined might of Japan and China if they decided to wipe your little village from the maps. And since you know I will never marry Shampoo of my own free will you've been trying to 'convince' me with potions and magical trinkets. You know damn well that I would have a hard time proving I was coerced into it through the use of magic."

The boy sank back into his chair and let out a long breath and wiped the sweat from his forehead. That had been exhausting but satisfying and he's really needed that. Any doctor could have told him that keeping all your rage in is bad for your health. He already felt a little better and when he saw the defeated look on Cologne's face he knew that he'd hit the nail on the head.

"You're right," the matriarch confirmed. "I can't force you to marry my great-granddaughter, but I hope that you'll reconsider."

"Fat chance," the reluctant groom countered, "and you know it. Why do you even insist? Are you really willing to risk the security of your people just for some stupid and anachronistic laws that have no place in modern society?"

"Of course not," she answered. "That would be stupid."

"Then why…"

"Because she loves you, you idiot. I admit that at first it was out of duty, but she very quickly fell in love with you. Any Amazon would have since you are just the type of man our tribe is looking for: strong, skilled, and good-looking. The kisses are easy to annul as I am an elder and the supreme authority in the village. There are loopholes in all of our laws, but outsiders would have a hard time finding them."

She took a long sip from her cup as she considered her next step. Ranma was silently sitting there, completely lost and unable to react. After a few moments she slowly put the cup down and looked the child straight in the eyes. She had lost and she knew it. There was only one thing left to do and she knew that Shampoo would be heartbroken, but there was no other way. She got up from the chair and lifted her cane in the air. "I Cologne, elder and matriarch of the Joketsuzoku, hereby declare the kiss of death and the kiss of marriage inflicted on Ranma Saotome null and void."

The incredulous martial artist looked at the matriarch with wide eyes and was completely speechless and wondered why she would do something like that. "Why did you do that?"

Cologne just shrugged and calmly answered, "Why shouldn't I? Since you know the truth now and made it very clear that you have no intention of marrying Shampoo the kisses don't serve a purpose any longer. Without the threat of punishment hanging over her head my great-granddaughter my reign in her enthusiasm and try to win your heart in a more conventional way. I promise to look for a cure if you agree to give Shampoo a chance if I'm successful. It's probably the best outcome I can hope for now. After all, she won't be able to marry you in your current state."

"Okay," the pigtailed boy answered. "I promise you to go on a date with Shampoo if you find a cure, but I'll tell you right away that she'll have a lot of work ahead of her if she wants to gain my trust."

The matriarch nodded and Ranma got up from the chair and walked to the door.

"One more thing before you leave," the old woman continued. "I know you hate your reduced age, but if there is no cure you'll have to live it, so just try and consider it less a curse, but rather a blessing. Just think about it. How many people would like to be in your place and have the possibility to get a new lease of life; to correct some of the errors they had made in their lives and maybe find happiness? You're a child again without most of the responsibilities your teenaged self has to deal with. After all, who'd expect a six- or seven-year-old to marry anyone? I know that you are unhappy with your current life and are tired from all the usual craziness that surrounds you. Well, consider this an opportunity. Maybe you could even leave your father for some better parental figures or stay with your mother. Or even better, why not simply accompany us back to China? The Amazons would gladly adopt you into the tribe."

Ranma considered the elder's words and had to admit that the old bat had a point, but then she always had an agenda that usually clashed with his own. Maybe removing the burden of the kisses was just another ploy to win him for the tribe where he wouldn't be allowed to leave ever again and serve as breeding stock. Additionally he loved his liberty too much to ever join a tribe made up of psychos with screwed up laws. He was sure that he could find another way; he'd just have to continue looking. If only Dr. Tofu hadn't left Nerima. He was probably the only genuinely caring person he knew to ever help him without an ulterior motive. He'd have to look it up. Maybe someone knew his new address.

"So, what is your answer, Ranma?" Cologne asked and startled the young martial artist out of his thoughts.

"That's a very important decision I have to make. The one thing I'm sure of is that my mother is out. She still only knows me as 'Ranko Tendo'. What do you think she'll do once she finds out what has happened to me? The curse was bad enough, but now I can't even be a man half of the time. I'm hardly a man among men now, am I? And I have no intention of dying anytime soon, honour be damned. As for your offer I don't know, I'll have to think about it for a while. I'll keep in touch."

That was also his cue to leave. He had already decided that he would refuse the offer; there always was a price to pay when dealing with the warrior tribe, and it usually was too high. He didn't outright decline the offer though since it wouldn't be wise to make an enemy out of the elder. At least he was free of the kisses; one less thing to worry about; he already had more than enough of his plate.

"I understand. It's a very important decision so I'll wait. There's just one more thing you need to know about the kisses; they aren't applicable to children. The ones you got would have been if I hadn't removed them because you were a teenager when they were applied. However, in the eyes of the Joketsuzoku you are a child now, never mind your real age. I know that you think we are barbarians, but our laws have served us well for millennia and kept us strong. Know however that children are sacred to us. Never would an Amazon willingly attack or hurt a child outside of martial arts practice. Any Amazon who willingly hurts a child will be severely punished"

This was new to the pigtailed boy. "It that is true, what about Mousse then?"

"What about the idiot?" Cologne inquired.

"Just yesterday Mousse attacked both Ryoga and me and gave us quite a beating just because he mistook us for our teenaged selves. And he's not even the most unbalanced of my rivals. Just imagining what the others would do to me gives me goose bumps."

"Did he now? Well, well, well. In that case the duck and I will have some words once he gets back. I don't mind him attacking you when you can fight back, but this is serious. What if he mistakes some more kids for you? I'll put a stop to this right here and right now. He's been making a fool of himself and by proxy his tribe for much too long."

Ranma bid the old woman goodbye and left already feeling better. Things had gone better than he had hoped. Okay, Cologne didn't have a cure, but he managed to get rid of two problems, Shampoo and Mousse. However, he had still a lot of enemies left, some of which he couldn't reason with. But he would weal with those problems once they became urgent. The next order of business was to locate Tofu. And where best to start the search than the place he had been last seen at: the clinic.

He didn't have to go far as the clinic was only a few streets away. On arrival he immediately checked the front wall, door and windows for information, but couldn't find a sign or note displaying his new address anywhere. There were some small remains of adhesive tape and he gathered that some kids probably tore the notice off. This only left the neighbours as an information source, but he was sure that one or two of them could help him. He got lucky right away as the very first person he asked could help him out. He thanked the old lady who had been one of Tofu's regular patients and left.

As it was already evening he was wondering if it might not be better to wait until the next day before visiting the doctor. It would take at least three hours by train to reach Tofu's new address after all and he didn't want to get on the doc's bad side, although he sometimes wondered if the doc had one. He had no clue where to spend the night, though. The dojo was out for obvious reasons and as he was a very target at the moment he couldn't use any of his usual haunts. The safest solution would probably be to take the first train to his destination and find a place to sleep. He had enough money to afford a hotel and could visit Tofu first thing in the morning.

His mind made up he walked as fast as possible to the nearest station all the time considering his options. The elder might be a scheming crone, but in one pint she was right. This really could be the perfect opportunity to start a new life, far away from all of his problems. Unfortunately that was easier said than done. He doubted that the Tendos and his father would let him go that easily, not to mention the Kunos who probably have the means to find him wherever he goes. There was also family honour to consider, although that was becoming less and less of an issue with all the dishonour the panda has brought to the Saotome name. The biggest problem was his reduced age. Kids can't live alone in a city and it wouldn't take long for the authorities to either send him back to his father or to an orphanage if he refused to tell them where he lived. He also had no way to earn money for food or lodging. After all, who would give a job to a kid? Additionally he was also much weaker in this form and while he was sure that some thugs wouldn't pose any sort of threat to him he was still somewhat vulnerable and he was not sure if he could dodge a bullet.

Since Ranma wasn't into long-term planning and 'what ifs' usually were inconclusive, he decided to do what he did best: play it by ear. First he'd consult with Tofu and if that should be a bust he'd improvise.

Deep in thought he mechanically walked through the streets and didn't notice the stalker who had been carefully following him for the last few minutes, staying out of range of the martial artist's honed danger sense.

Said stalker didn't go unnoticed for long however. Ranma was suddenly pulled out of his musings by a loud clang and a string of Chinese curses. He looked at the spot where the noise had originated from and paled when he recognized the cause of the disturbance. It was Mousse who was trying to get out of a large trashcan.

The visually challenged teen got up and put his glasses back on while cursing up a storm. Seeing that his cover had been compromised anyway he attacked the pigtailed child at once. "SAOTOME! I know it's you. I overheard your little chat with Ryoga. It's time to pay for all the humiliations I have suffered because of you!" He shouted maniacally and Ranma could see the madness in his eyes. The myopic boy had finally lost it, incensed by what he believed to be an easy victory. He had followed the pigtailed child back to the Nekohanten and overheard the whole conversation with Cologne without them noticing him, but it was apparent to the young martial artist that the visually challenged teen didn't believe in the Amazon creed of not hurting children. Mousse on the other hand was glad to see that the bugging device he bought from Nabiki was working as advertised; Cologne would have discovered him for sure if he'd openly spied on them.

'Oh shit'! Ranma thought as he dove out of the way of the attack, his many years of combat experience being his only saving grace. His father may have been a sadistic, moronic bastard, but he had managed to turn his son into a world class martial artist, and even if he was weaker at the moment his danger sense and battle instincts were intact. He knew however that he stood no chance against Mousse in his current state and so he did something he would have never done if he had been at the top of his game and not overwhelmed by the situation: he ran away. Mousse was in no hurry to follow his nemesis since he knew that closing on to him wasn't even a challenge at the moment. At first he wanted to simply kill Ranma on the spot, but seeing the frightened state his enemy was in he decided that drawing out his victory and making the boy believe he had a chance of escaping was much more entertaining, especially since he loved hunting.

As he was about to follow the frightened boy and start the chase he sensed a presence behind him, but before he could react he received a heavy blow to the head and fell unconscious. The small figure lifted him into the air and pogoed back to the Nekohanten. "This time you have gone too far. You have violated one of our most sacred codes and I'll see to it that you are punished accordingly. I'm sorry, but it's out of my hands now," she told the dazed boy with regret in her voice. He was an annoying dimwit, but she had known the boy for many years and even if he usually was a minor nuisance at best, she couldn't close her eyes on his latest blunder, especially since she had told Ranma about the consequences of such an act. No, showing leniency was not an option any longer, not after giving Ranma that speech about their laws concerning children. Going back on her words now would definitely ruin any chance of getting the boy's loyalty. It was a waste in Colgne's minds as she knew that there had been a lot of potential in the idiot, but Ranma's was much higher and he'd make much better addition to the village. If only Mousse hadn't wasted his talents in his obsessive and pointless pursuit of her granddaughter he could have become an excellent fighter and an asset to the village.

Unfortunately, Ranma hadn't witnessed any of this and was running at full speed still believing that Mousse was in pursuit. After having run five minutes and surprised that the duck hadn't caught up with him yet he turned around and was relieved when he didn't see his pursuer. He immediately stopped and sat on the ground trying to catch his breath. Having recovered some he got up and punched a street light as hard as possible in frustration; the punch had been strong enough to bend the pole half way and leave a large dent, but the pigtailed boy wasn't happy with this inhuman feat and cursed his weakness once more. "DAMMIT! Normally that would have been enough to obliterate the damn thing. I REALLY need to get my hands on some of those mushrooms." Then he paled when a really horrible thought formed in his mind: even Akane would be able to defeat him in his current state. _'The vindictive bitch would never let me live it down if that happened'_, he thought. _I remember the super soba incident and how she gloated when I couldn't lay a finger on her'_. If Ranma had been more honest himself he would have remembered that he had done exactly the same thing after Akane got cured, but then he was much like the other residents of the ward and liked to forget his own faults or shortcomings.

This last incident, however, had been enough to confirm his earlier thoughts; he couldn't stay in Nerima if he valued his life. Next time he might not be so lucky and lose his enemy. At least Mousse had chased him into the right direction as he was only about five minutes away from Nerima's train and subway station and since he couldn't travel long distances on foot anymore taking the train was the only solution. He checked the timetable and noticed that he had been right with his earlier prediction about the length of the trip. He bought a ticket and waited for his train. Ten minutes later he was on his way to his last chance at a cure.

Having had a very difficult day and his young body tiring faster he had trouble staying awake, but he knew that if he dozed off now he'd surely miss his stop. When he heard the intercom announce his stop he followed the other passengers out of the railroad car, but was too tired to look for an affordable hotel room. Well, it wasn't like he hadn't any experience with sleeping outside as it had happened very often along his long training journey, so he knew from experience where the best spots were. He wasn't very picky and quickly found a cosy place inside the station behind a large tool shed and promptly fell into a deep, albeit troubled sleep as he was having nightmares throughout the night.

That was probably the reason why the sound of the passing passengers and the speeding trains woke him up rather early the following morning, since he usually slept like a log. Rubbing his eyes the little boy panicked when he didn't recognize his surroundings. However, the memories of all the previous day's happenings hit him like a freight train and he immediately remembered why he was sleeping on the floor and what his plans for the day were. His rumbling stomach reminded him however that he had something more important to do at the moment: getting breakfast. He stepped out of his hiding place, unnoticed, and left the station looking around for a diner, tea house or any other place where he could fill his stomach.

Across the street he noticed a friendly looking bakery. He entered the small shop and bought a few sandwiches which he wolfed down in under a minute. Usually he'd eat a lot more, but his younger body just didn't need as much calories as his regular one did, which was fortunate for his wallet, as the train ticket hadn't been cheap. He had just enough money left for the trip back.

He walked along the sidewalk and periodically asked the passers-by for directions. He had to admit that there were some advantages to being a kid again. The people were very helpful and took their time to guide a harmless little child around. All the while he was memorizing the important landmarks, just like his father had taught him over the years. It was always important to know one's surroundings and locate every possible escape way, a credo which the panda had taken to heart… and it had saved their lives more than once.

As he was looking around he passed a cute little girl with long black hair and who was about his current age about to cross the street. She was wearing an elementary school uniform consisting of a pink shirt, a green tie, a red beret and a red skirt-jacket combination. A sudden gust of wind blew the beret off her head and onto the street. The panicking girl ran after her headwear, not paying attention to the traffic and thus didn't see the approaching truck. A nerdy high school student wearing glasses was about to intervene and try to save the child, but someone was faster.

When Ranma noticed the truck and realized that the girl wouldn't make it he reflexively jumped on the street and pushed her out of the way. Feeling the push the girl finally recognized the danger and as she was tumbling out of harm's way her eyes fell on her saviour and her eyes widened when she saw something she'd never forget for as long as she lived.

The young martial artist was relieved when he saw that the girl was safe. Unfortunately he had completely forgotten that he was smaller now and had miscalculated the jump. Just as he was about to leap away from the danger he had to suffer a full frontal assault from the truck and the impact had been so heavy that the unfortunate child was sent flying and thudded on the unforgiving tarmac more than ten meters away from the impact spot.

Ranma had never felt that much pain in his life as he landed in a large puddle on the street, a leftover from the rain that had fallen during the night, changing him into a her.

The young girl could feel that life was leaving her and as her eyes were closing for the final time her last thoughts were of a sarcastic nature. _'I really shouldn't be surprised. My whole life has been a waste and a joke so why should my death be any different? Even in death I can't be a man'._ Then she knew no more.

I know there's no proof whatsoever in the manga that the men are treated badly, but the only Amazon male Ranma knows is Mousse (Shampoo's father is only seen briefly in a few panels) who's being treated badly by Shampoo and Cologne.


	2. When he came back to life

Hi everyone. I have to admit that I was quite surprised to see the number of reviews this story got. And here I thought that no one would be interested as the crossover is such an obscure series. Glad to see there are more than a few 'Ichinensei ni Nacchattara' fans out there.

The crossover really starts this chapter when Ranma wakes up in Yume's lab/surgery/bedroom, or however you want to qualify the room. This is supposed to be a comedy and I hope that it will amuse you at least somewhat. Don't forget to review since I always enjoy some feedback, positive as well as negative... but I prefer positive feedback, I think.

And don't be afraid to ask any questions. I'll gladly answer them.

For those who don't know 'Ichinensei ni Nacchattara' (and believe me that's a shame) you can find the latest chapters at Taruby's homepage (Taruby's Paradox). You should really read the manga if you want to get a good laugh.

I think that's about all I have to say, except for the usual disclaimer: I don't own any of this and I don't make any money with my little stories.

**CHAPTER 2****: When he came back to life**

_**What has gone before:**_

_Ranma and Ryoga __had been affected by some magic mushrooms who transformed them into kids. After Ryoga returned to normal he destroyed the remaining mushrooms which were the only known cure. On his way to Cologne Ranma got attacked by Ryoga and easily defeated. The elder couldn't help him and his last chance was Doctor Tofu. Unfortunately the doctor had left the ward but Ranma managed to get his new address. After being attacked by Mouse and almost killed he realized that he had to find the doctor as soon as possible if he wanted to survive another confrontation. On the way to the doctor's new clinic he was hit by a truck after saving a little girl from being run over._

'_Too bright'_, was Ranma's first thought after he'd opened his eyes… just before closing them again just as quickly. He tried once more, lifting the eyelids very slowly, and after a while he was able to open them completely after they had stopped hurting from the bright light that was flooding the room he was in.

He lifted his head with great difficulty and looked down at himself. Much to his surprise he was wearing a very tattered shirt and nothing else. He looked around the room but didn't recognize it at all. It was a cross between a normal bedroom and a surgery with bits and pieces of mechanical pieces, tools, and futuristic looking gizmos strewn all around the floor and cluttering the shelves and other desks and tables. A few metres away sat a young woman with a large smirk on her face and who was sipping her coffee while at the same time staring at him very intently. She didn't look that much older than his teenaged self and was wearing a standard lab coat and very big round glasses. Her long black hair was kept in two braids hanging down her back and her face was framed by straight bangs. A single strand of hair was defying gravity and pointed in the air although slightly curving forwards.

The unusual sight of a stranger staring at him didn't deter the disoriented martial artist from asking the obvious question that was expected in a situation like the one he was currently in. "What…? Where…?"

"I see you're awake," the young woman commented.

"I'm… alive?" the Neriman wondered. Suddenly he grabbed his head in pain as the memories flooded in. The mushrooms… the beating… the escape… and finally, the accident.

Then he remembered the voice and looked at its originator. "Who are you?" He rudely asked. "And where the hell am I?"

"Is that any way to thank your benefactor?"

"My benefactor? What do you mean?"

"You died when the truck ran over you. I'm the one who brought you back to life."

'_Then… I really did die'?_ He wondered and was not quite sure what to make of that. It sounded rather preposterous, but with everything he had seen in his life so far it wasn't impossible.

"But you were lucky because I, Yume Kusanagi, the heaven-sent child of science witnessed the whole event. You should really thank me after all the trouble I went through to recuperate your body. Believe me; getting a corpse from the morgue is no easy task. Thankfully your cadaver was in such a sorry state that it didn't cost all that much.

"Huh? This is the first time I hear about someone being resurrected through science." But then he remembered another statement; one that really crept him out. "Wait! The morgue!"

"Naturally," the stranger continued in a very arrogant and conceited tone, not reacting to Ranma's, question. "Whenever the fruits of science fall into the hands of the ignorant populace, they use it for nothing but stupid things. That's why we scientists stopped telling them," she finished and poker her tongue out at the child.

"Reaaaaally?" Ranma dubiously looked at the scientist, sweatdropping at her childish behaviour.

"And I'm happy that I was able to save such a cute little girl."

"Who are you calling a girl?" Ranma challenged Yume. "I'm a guy, dammit".

"Could have fooled me," she countered after lifting Ranma's shirt and staring intensely and lecherously at the child's intimate parts. It was only then that the martial artist noticed that she was indeed in her female form.

"Watch it, pervert!" She screamed and belted the woman in the face.

Much to the martial artist's surprise Yume recovered almost immediately despite de decent amount of force she'd put in the blow. "What did you do that for?" She asked while rubbing her nose. "Maybe I need to check your brain for any after affects of the resurrection process if you don't know your own gender," she mused. "I can't imagine where I might have gone wrong." She calmly took out her handheld recorder. "Yume's log. Entry 2354: the operation was a mitigated success. Procedure may cause brain damage. Note to self: run more tests."

"Hey! I think I'm the one who knows my own gender best, thank you very much."

Before the obviously confused girl could continue the bespectacled woman got a weird gleam in her eyes and suddenly took a scroll out of nowhere, unrolled it, and pinned it to the wall. She pushed her glasses up her nose and grabbed a conveniently placed pointer. She then pointed towards the chart showing the detailed anatomical pictures of a boy and a girl. "This," she pointed at the left picture, "is a boy. Do you see the icky little thing hanging between his legs? That is called a…"

"I KNOW WHAT THAT IS CALLED!" an outraged Ranma roared, knocking the scientist to the floor through the sheer volume of the shout. "I ought to know since I have my own," she exclaimed in a subdued voice.

The woman blinked. "My poor little girl," she pitied the delusional child and caressed the red hair condescendingly.

"I can prove it," the young girl challenged the scientist's expertise and slapped the offending hand away. She jumped off the bed and walked towards the sink, a surprised Yume watching her every step. "All I need is some hot water." Ranma turned the tap and waited for the water to heat up. Once it was hot enough the redhead put her arm under the flow of warm water and the miracle happened.

Much to the older girl's shock the loli's red hair turned black. She approached the black-haired kid at a fast pace and examined the hair and wondered how it could have changed colours like that.

"See?" Ranma asked in a slightly deeper voice, a challenging smirk on his face.

Before the young boy could react Yume lifted his shirt and let out a loud shriek before she fainted dead away. Ranma was torn between beating her up for that stunt and showing concern, but his deeply ingrained caring nature took over and he checked the scientist for any life signs.

"Hey!" Ranma shook the unconscious girl. "Heyyyy!" He shook her more frantically now, panic setting in."

Slowly the young scientist opened her eyes. "Ooooh, I had a terrible nightmare. Heh. How stupid. There's no way something like that can happen in real life." She looked at the person in front of her and noticed that yes, the hair was still black.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" she shouted in despair before raising an angry fist in the air. Why, God, why? How can you be that cruel? Haven't I been a good girl? Why must you punish so?"

She then dropped to her knees, chewing on a handkerchief and fountains of water erupting from her eyes.

Ranma sweatdropped at this and help up a sign with a 8 on it. The performance was great but the pigtailed boy had seen much better from Soun Tendo, the only person who has ever earned a perfect 10.

"There, there," Ranma tried to calm down the desperate woman as he repeatedly pat her on the head. "Let it all out. You'll feel better very soon."

"FEEL BETTER?" she shrieked into his face with a strong enough force to make his hair stand up. "How do you expect me to feel any better after witnessing something like this?" She incredulously continued. "This is scientifically impossible. No human can change their sex like that."

"It's a magical curse," the martial artist explained. Hot water boy; cold water girl."

"Magic doesn't exist," Yume stubbornly countered. "There's a scientific explanation for everything, you just have to discover it. Considering the existence of magic in our enlightened times is preposterous."

"Oh yeah? Then explain this." Ranma opened the cold water tap and held his arm under the water flow. His hair turned red once again.

"How?" the scientist couldn't believe her eyes.

"Well..." Ranma then told her about Jusenkyo and the different curses she knew of, but also mentioned that she was in fact a teenager who had been turned back into a kid through eating some magical mushrooms. She also gave a list of the magical artefacts she had run-ins with and the supernatural beings she'd met... "And now I'm searching for Dr. Tofu. He might know of a way reverse the effects of the mushrooms."

Yume quietly listened to the story, but had a hard time believing the young girl. Yet, there was the curse to consider. A complete sex change with the use of water. If she could find a scientific explanation for that strange phenomenon she could finally prove her superiority over the likes of Gina Diggers, Fran Madaraki, Dexter, and all of the other scientists who had been far more successful than her in their endeavours. Now she'd just have to find a way to keep the new guinea pig in her home. As a very welcome bonus she'd have her very own sweet loli at her disposal at all times.

"I see," she told Ranma after she'd finished her story. "This curse really intrigues me. I'm sure a genius of my calibre will have an easy time getting to the bottom of this. Like I said, everything can be explained through science." She then considered something else. "However, the age reduction is really hard to believe without any proof. Anyone could come up with a ridiculous statement like that."

"I can prove it!" The martial artist assured. "Just take me to Dr. Tofu and he'll confirm my story."

"Okay. I don't see how it could hurt. Alright, I'll take you to him." Although she gave the little girl a reassuring smile she felt a bit of apprehension at meeting the doctor. What if he really had a cure? But then she relaxed again.. What was there to be afraid of? After all, the doctor was not a scientist and the odds that he'd have a solution were really small. The cute child would be so devastated if were to be disappointed.

Then it hit her. The perfect plan to keep the little girl in her home. She smirked sinisterly and took the redhead by her shoulder. "Say, why don't you stay here while I search for a cure for the curse and the age reduction? After all, it seems like you got nowhere to go and I would get results more quickly if I had the guin... erm the victim close at hand. Didn't I save your life? Don't you think that someone who can cheat death would able to solve your little problem?"

The offer was tempting... really tempting, yet she didn't trust the scientist. She felt really uncomfortable in her presence; there were some malevolent vibes coming from the woman, and it reminded her somewhat of Happosai. On the other hand, Yume was right; she had nowhere else to go. Nerima was out of the question and she didn't want to burden Dr. Tofu with her problems. Additionally, even if the woman would turn out to be a creep she was nowhere in Happi's league and Ranma had no doubt she'd be able to knock her out if she tried anything inappropriate.

"Okay," Ranma answered. "You got a deal; but only after I've talked to Dr. Tofu."

"Right, right," Yume eagerly agreed. She didn't know what the doctor was capable of, but she'd heard that he was popular with his patients. She then came back to her earlier thoughts. Yes, there was no reason to be afraid, and after the visit the devastated child would be so easy to manipulate. If she could only come up with a good plan to have Ranma stay in her girl form everything would be perfect. She had no idea yet, but she was confident that her brilliant mind would come up with something very quickly.

There was nothing more she could do at the moment and so she uttered the words the redhead had been desperate to hear. "Let's visit Dr. Tofu right away and see what he has to say."

She figured that it would be best to see the doctor right away without announcing themselves. That way he had no time to prepare for their arrival and do some preliminary research on a cure.

"Great!" the redhead exclaimed. "Can't wait to be back to normal. Let's go!"

"Erhem!" Yume coughed into her fist. "Do you intend to go like that?"

The child wondered what the woman was talking about before she remembered the state her clothes were in."

Before she could say something the scientist handed her a bundle of clothes. "Here, you can have these."

Ranma was disgusted when she saw the garments the older girl was holding in her hands. The girly shirt and pullover were not really that bad since she had worn worse when she was pretending to be 'Ranko', but the pleated miniskirt on the other hand was something she could only qualify as 'pervert bait' and was definitely not appropriate for a kid. The thing that really shocked her were the frilly and overly sexy panties that were an open invitation to every child molester in vicinity. "Ewww! What the hell! Like I would wear that." The outraged girl cursed before she violently threw the clothes to the ground.

"How... how could you do that?" Yume burst into tears. "After all the money I spent to put together a wardrobe for you? Do you... do you really hate me that much? After all I've done for you? I brought you back to life, and this is how you thank me. I'm... I'm really hurt. Everybody hates me. I have no friend in the whole wide world. Maybe... maybe I should just kill myself."

The martial artist was feeling like a heel now. She hated herself for making the woman cry and for doubting her. After all, the scientist couldn't have known that the redhead was really a boy. She probably thought that the martial artist was a normal girl who liked cute things.

"Okay, okay, I take it back. I'll wear the stupid clothes," she quickly amended her earlier statement after she saw that Yume was now standing on a chair about to hang herself.

"Do… Do you really mean it?" She asked in a hopeful tone, her head already through the noose. "And you'll also stay here?"

"I promise!" Ranma quickly confirmed, trying to keep the woman from doing something stupid.

Yume did a 180 and quickly jumped off the chair. She then picked up the discarded outfit and held it in front of Ranma to see how it looked. She then took the young girl into her arms. "You'll look soooo cute in these."

Ranma let her head hang down in shame and felled like kicking herself once she realized that she'd been conned by a crying girl once again. The vexing thing was that was quite accomplished at the fearsome technique herself, yet was unable to develop a resistance against it, even after having been subjected to it so many times. Unfortunately she'd given her word and even if she had a lot of shortcomings she never willingly broke her promises.

She sighed heavily and as she was about to pull off her shirt she noticed Yume's stare. "Do you mind?" The annoyed redhead asked.

"Not at all," the scientist answered, "not... at... all."

"OUT!" Ranma pointed at the door and the woman reluctantly left the room, giving one last look at the cute girl who was still waiting for her to leave the room.

After the redhead had put on the new clothes she checked herself in a mirror and cringed at the cute vision that was reflected back. At least she didn't need a bra in her current body. Resigned to her fate she called for Yume and once she'd given the martial artist an appreciative nod they left the house to visit Dr. Tofu.

**0****1****2****3****4****5****4****3****2****1****0**

Ranma was feeling stupid in those girly clothes and hoped that no one would recognize her and tell everyone she knew about her whereabouts and especially not about those awful clothes she was forced to wear. She nervously checked all the people passing by, but slowly relaxed once she realized that they weren't looking at her.

After a 20 minute walk they'd reached the doctor's clinic. The redhead looked at the building and was impressed by its size. It was notably larger than the old one.

When she entered the clinic she was surprised by its modern look. Gone was the old décor as it had been replaced by modern halogen lamps on the ceiling and abstract art hanging on the walls. But the biggest surprise was that the good doctor now had a receptionist. Tofu was obviously doing very well if the number of patients in the waiting room was any indication.

"Excuse me. Miss?" The middle-aged receptionist looked down and smiled at the polite girl.

"What can I do for you, sweetie?"

Ranma grimaced at the moniker. Being a little girl in body was bad enough, but being treated like one was 10 times worse. Unfortunately there was nothing she could do about it and antagonizing the receptionist wouldn't solve the problem.

"Can I speak to Doctor Tofu, please?" She politely asked.

"Do you have an appointment?"

The redhead looked sadly at the older woman and shook her head. "No, I don't." She gave the receptionist the most pitiful look she could manage. "I didn't need one when I visited him in Nerima and..." she sniffed and hiccupped and was about to cry, "and I didn't know I needed one now. I came to see him because..." she sobbed and one could distinctly hear the receptionist's heart break at the pitiful sight, "because I thought he could help me. He's always helped me before."

The receptionist couldn't bear the sight any longer and tears appeared in her eyes and she was willing to do anything short of murder to help the girl who was obviously in dire need of assistance. "I think we can make an exception for once," she reassured the redhead and was relieved that the child's mood seemed to lighten a bit. "What was your name again?"

"Ranma. Ranma Saotome. From Nerima."

She nodded and gave the child her brightest smile. "Well, I am sure he can devote a few minutes of his time for a cute and polite child like you. One moment, please. I'll tell him you want to see him." She got up and entered a door in the back.

"That was quite a performance you put up there," Yume congratulated the martial artist.

"Heh!" She smirked. "I'm the best."

The receptionist came back a minute later and told them that the doctor would see them soon. A few minutes later a patient left the doctor's office and the receptionist told them to enter.

"Hello, Ranma," Tofu Ono welcomed the redhead before she had crossed the doorway, but when he saw two strangers enter he looked curiously at them before narrowing his eyes and asking in a still friendly but firm tone. "Who are you? And why are you pretending to be one of my patients?"

"It's me, Ranma," the de-aged martial artist claimed.

"No, you're not. Ranma is a few years older. Tell me who you are and what you want or I'll call the police."

"But it's really me," Ranma tried once more. "I ate some magic mushrooms that turned me into a kid and now I'm looking for a cure. Look, I can prove it. Just ask me some questions only Ranma could answer."

The doctor looked at the child and he had to admit that she really looked like a younger version of the teenager he knew, and since he'd seen a lot of weird stuff in Nerima he didn't outright dismiss the story, even if it sounded rather outlandish.

"Okay then," he started. "What happened the first time I had to treat you after you got into a fight with Akane?"

"That's an easy one," the redhead answered, "and don't think I've forgotten that incident. Isn't a doctor supposed to cure his patients and not harm them? But whatever. You told me to get along with Akane and that she was a sweet girl. Then you pat me on the back you said that I'd understand soon enough. It was only a few minutes later, after my legs had given out, that I understood what you'd done to me. You can't imagine how humiliating it was to have Akane carry me back home."

"That's correct. I also don't think anyone but Akane or Ranma would know the answer. Here's another one. If you are Ranma you'll probably remember the time my mother came for a visit. What happened and what did she say to you after she'd finished testing all the girls?"

The young martial couldn't hide a blush when she thought back to that embarrassing fiasco. "She told me I had perfect childbearing hips," she answered in a subdued voice, turning even redder when she heard Yume snickering behind her.

"Alright, you've convinced me." The doctor's jovial mood returned. "Now, what did you do this time? And who is the young lady with you?"

Before the bespectacled woman had the time to make one of her famous self-praising introductory speeches Ranma took the initiative and made the presentations. "This is Yume Kusanagi. She's a scientist who's saved my life… and also a real pervert."

"Hey!" The aforementioned woman complained. "Is that a way to treat your saviour?"

Ignoring the scientist's complaints the young girl told the highlights of the story, starting with Ryoga's return to Nerima. The only thing she left out was the fact that she'd died… at Yume's insistence who wanted to keep her research a secret for the moment. "… And that's how I ended up here. So, can you help me?"

Tofu listened patiently to the story and chuckled at the funny parts and 'hmmmed' at the more serious ones, but all in all he pitied the teenager-turned-child who never seemed to get a break.

"Hmmm. I've never heard of those mushrooms. I'm sorry, but I can't help you there. I can check my books, but the probability that I'll find anything is very small so don't get your hopes up.

"I… I understand," Ranma answered in a defeated tone. He had assumed as much, but he had to ask anyway. "It was a long shot after all. I guess I'll have to look somewhere else. Thanks for your time."

"Look," Tofu tried to lift the redhead's spirit up a little bit, "if there's anything you need, anything I can help you with, don't be afraid to ask."

"Thanks for the offer, but there's nothing you can do and I've taken up too much of your time already."

"Where will you go?" The concerned doctor asked the martial artist. "I'd offer you a place to stay, but unfortunately I don't have the space. I can't decently let you go back to Nerima, though. All the chaos in that ward was the main motivation for me to leave, although my Kasumi induced blackouts were a factor too. I realized that my obsession with her wasn't healthy for my patients' lives or for myself, especially since she didn't reciprocate my feelings."

"Don't worry about that. Yume here lets me stay at her house while she's looking for a cure. Are you sure about Kasumi? She's always been so nice to you and even brought you cookies."

"She's nice to everyone. I'm sure she's never considered me more than a friend; a friend who's always been there to treat her sister whenever she was hurt. Ah well, that's life." He shrugged and dismissed the issue completely. "More importantly, could you give me a number where I can contact you? I'll let you know if anything comes up."

The scientist gave the doctor her cell phone number and after saying their goodbyes the two young people left the clinic after Ranma promised to stay in touch with the good doctor.

"Well, that was a bust," Ranma regretted as they were heading home. "I know it was a long shot, but it still blows."

"Don't worry," Yume tried to lift up the redhead's spirits. "Big sis Yume is on the case. You'll see; I'll have you back to normal in a jiffy."

Unfortunately for the redhead the slightly deranged and definitely perverted scientist didn't mean a word of it and her plans for the cursed boy were far more sinister, and if the young martial artist had been able to read thoughts she'd probably have taken off at the first occasion.

'_Hehehe'_, Yume cackled to herself. _'In the end my fears were unfounded and something good came out of the meeting; I'm now the only person she knows who can provide her with a cure. I love it when a plan comes together. Time to implement the next part of 'operation: keep the loli', and knowing my annoying little sister as well as I do, it will go off without a hitch'_.

"I'm home!" Yume shouted after opening the front door just to run into a wall made of flesh.

"You're late!" Came the reproach from high above the scientist's head.

Ranma looked up... and up and saw an unhappy looking very well endowed girl, with long black hair towering over the bespectacled girl. She was wearing a pullover and a skirt and a small, lacy apron was tied around her waist.

"Where have you been these last few days, big sis? And what in the world have you been doing?"

'_Wait! Big sis'_? The incredulous redhead wondered while she was comparing the two girls in front of her. _'No way!'_

"Ah, erm, Mikuru... I..." the apparently older sister tried to explain herself.

"And why is this child with you?" The now named girl continued. "I hope you aren't going to do what I think you're going to do, big sis?" The very angry younger sister grabbed the older girl forcibly, causing the apprehensive martial artist to have flashbacks of some of Akane's typical anger induced temper tantrums. She pulled down her sister's skirt, and spanked her really hard, much to Ranma's astonishment who thought that this might be a little over the top just as she was wondering in what nuthouse she'd landed this time around.

'_Is it really __that difficult to meet normal people for once'? _She wondered. _'It's a curse; I'm sure of it'_.

"No!" Yume defended herself. "Even I wouldn't dare do that."

Mikuru let her sister go and the scientist explained the reason for the child's presence. "Her name is Ranma Saotome," the woman started to cry and then looked pitifully at the floor. "Her mother and father are fellow scientists I know, and they asked me to take care of her while they go to America to dissect an alien."

Ranma was appalled at the tall tale her new caretaker was spinning and took her head in her hands in shame. The last part especially made her sweatdrop heavily. _'No way in hell! How stupid do you have to be to believe that bull?'_

The redhead was brought out of her thoughts when she felt a hand stroke her head before she was violently grabbed and smothered between a pair of very heavy breasts belonging to the younger Kusanagi sister. "So that's how it is," Mikuru pitied the younger girl. "You poor little thing. It must be tough having stupid scientists for parents. But don't worry," she continued in a more cheerful tone. "Please think of this place as your own home, okay?"

'_Wait! What__'? _Ranma shouted in her mind._ 'Don't tell me she bought that! Oh god, this girl is even more gullible than Ryoga on his best days'._ The martial artist shook her head at the stupidity of it all.

"Hey! Don't touch my precious!" Yume shouted as she freed the redhead from her sister's grasp just to be knocked to the floor courtesy of an elbow to the face.

"I'm not a toy, you know!" The redhead complained.

"Such possessiveness," the heavy-chested girl mused. "Ah yes, now I remember. You've always wanted a little sister that is smaller than yourself."

"Huh?" Ranma wondered. "Don't tell me..." she then pointed an accusing finger at the scientist who had just gotten up again. "That's the only reason why you saved me, isn't it? Just to have a cute little sister."

"That's not true," the young woman defended herself, but the heavy blush and the perverted grin on her face hardly helped convince the martial artist of her sincerity.

"Well, too bad I'm not a girl," Ranma got out before Yume covered the young girl's mouth with both her hands. Before the martial artist could react she'd already been spirited away to the scientist's lab.

"What did you do that for?" The annoyed child wanted to know. "Don't you want me to tell her the truth?"

Yume had known from the start that her 'ward' would protest, but she hoped that the earlier outburst wouldn't make her naive little sister suspicious, even if the odds of that happening were very small seeing how naïve the younger girl usually was. She believed almost everything she was told. Finally the moment had come to implement the final part of 'operation: keep the loli'.

"You're right, I don't."

"Wait! Don't tell me you want me to stay a girl!"

'_You bet__cha'_. "No, it's nothing like that," she lied her ass off and put on her most sincere face. "I really only have your best interests at heart. Tell me. How do the people react when they find out about the curse?"

That was an easy answer for the martial artist. "Oh, that's easy. Some of them find it funny, but most freak out or call me a pervert." There was one girl in particular that immediately came to her mind, but seeing how she had been betrayed by said girl she didn't really want to think about her. "Being attacked by exorcists or the sailor senshi who think I am a youma isn't all that great either."

"So, the reactions are mostly negative, right?" She already knew the answer, of course. Being a scholar and well versed in different disciplines, one of them being psychology, she could imagine how the superstitious rabble reacted to a scientific oddity like that 'curse', not that she believed in magic and curses mind you, but she as long as she didn't find a perfectly reasonable, scientific explanation for the sex change as well as the age reduction she was not quite that sure any longer.

"I guess," the martial artist was feeling rather unsure now as she had no clue where the woman was going with this.

"In that case, don't tell my sister. Please, I beg you, don't do it." She fell on her knees and took up a submissive posture. If not for my own sake, please think about my poor, sweet, and innocent little sister and how she'll react if she finds out. Look at how quickly she's accepted you. Didn't you see the sincere joy in her face to have someone she could care of? She's a pure soul who believes in the good of everyone and is not ready to have her worldview shaken like that. How… How do you think she'll react if she finds out about your curse?" The scientist was now sobbing. "I'll tell you how she'll react. She'll be shocked and… and she might even lose her mind." Her eyes were getting watery and tears started to form. "She's a saint I tell you. Is such a small sacrifice really that much to ask for? If not for your own sake, or for me saving your life, please think about my sister's mental health. Do you want her to end up in an asylum?"

She watched the redhead's reactions very intensely and when she noticed that it seemed like the young girl was considering things she smirked inwardly and congratulated herself on her impressive performance worthy of an Oscar. However, even if the victory was close at hand she knew that she couldn't make any mistakes if she wanted to avoid alienating the young girl. Fortunately for her (and unfortunately for Ranma) she had correctly assessed the martial artist's reactions beforehand and the endgame was close at hand.

"What is so bad about being a girl anyway? At your age there aren't really that many differences between the two sexes, except for the obvious one of course."

"Because I was born a guy and that's what I'm supposed to be. I'll just have to avoid cold water and I'll be in the clear." The pigtailed girl knew that was a lie as so far he had never had much chance at keeping the curse a secret, but he was really out of ideas and the scientist's cold analysis made a lot of sense, frighteningly so.

Yume had expected this answer, but had already a counterargument ready.

"Didn't you tell me earlier that water seems to find you all the time and especially at the most unfortunate times?"

Ranma didn't bother commenting since the woman was right of course.

Certain of her impending victory the scientist decided to deal the deathblow and make the redhead hers, body if not soul. "Well, I've never said you have to remain in your girl form all the time, but only when you're inside the house. But you have to promise me to do everything you can to prevent my sister from finding out about the curse. I don't have a problem if you transform back into a boy when you're outside, as long as no one sees you. The unwanted attention it would bring could jeopardize my projects."

THAT statement put everything into a different light for the redhead. The scientist had hit the nail on the head and had correctly identified the young girl's main concern about the whole thing. She was afraid; afraid that that if she stayed a girl for too long she might come to accept the curse and maybe even like it to the extent that she could end up preferring her female form to her male form. Yume's idea would give her way out of this horrible fate that was quite possible in her mind. This could also be the right time for a fresh start. No one would recognize her in her current childish form. And honestly, how bad could it? It's not like there hadn't been times in Nerima where she had had to stay in her cursed form for an extended period of time, sometimes even for a whole day. There wasn't really any downside to the older girl's proposition since she'd have the possibility to walk around the neighbourhood in her natural form..

"Deal!" The redhead quickly answered. "I promise not to transform in the house if you promise to let me be a boy when I'm outside."

"Right, right. I promise." The scientist eagerly and absentmindedly agreed, her imagination already running rampant inside her head about cute clothing choices for the unaware child who had no idea about the upcoming humiliations and blows to her manhood she'd signed up for.

"Ranma, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," she led the doomed soul away, her departing form casting a shadow that looked suspiciously like the Western representation of the Devil.

Posted: 2011/03/01


	3. When he became an elementary student

Nothing much to say about this chapter. I just hope you'll enjoy it. This is a revised version of the chapter. I got rid of some spelling mistakes and inconsistencies in the story and added some missing words. The biggest change is about Ranma showing off in the schoolyard. I toned it down quite a bit. I hope I got rid of all the spelling mistakes now. If there should still be some left please tell me.

**CHAPTER 3: When he became an elementary student**

_**What has gone before:**_

_Ranma and Ryoga have been affected by some magic mushrooms who transformed them into kids. After Ryoga returns back to normal he destroys the remaining mushrooms before Ranma can eat one himself, condemning him to a second childhood. After being attacked by his rivals and realizing the danger he was in Ranma tries to locate Doctor Tofu who had left Nerima a few months earlier. On his way to see him he notices a little girl about to get run over by a truck. He saves her but is killed in her stead, only to be brought back from the dead by a perverted, female, mad scientist. Ranma decides to stay with her 'saviour' who promised her to help her find a cure to the magic mushrooms. _

Ranma was sleeping the sleep of the just, unaware of the dangerous creature that was sneaking soft-footedly up on her, grabby hands opening and closing continuously. The woman, because that's what the creature was, had a demented, lecherous grin on her face, her glasses gleaming in the dim light. She slowly extended her hands towards the bed and grabbed the blanket, unfolding it very carefully as she didn't want to wake up the sleeping beauty it had hidden from her view.

Her breath caught when her eyes fell on the vision of loveliness lying there, wearing a skimpy, purple nightie. Of course, it had been hard to convince the redhead to wear it, but with no real alternatives available and not wanting to sleep in the nude she didn't have much of a choice as the outfit she had been wearing before the bath had mysteriously ended up in the washing machine and was too wet to wear.

The scientist slowly advanced her fingers towards the hem of the garment, trying to get a better view at the body it was covering, but before she could grab it Ranma rolled to her left, still in Morpheus' arms.

Yume tried again, but once again her efforts were thwarted as the redhead rolled to her right this time.

She frowned heavily but was too stubborn to give up. She tried a few more times, getting more and more frustrated until she finally lost her temper. It was time to use some more drastic measures as she refused to be denied access to her precious little treasure.

Throwing all caution to the wind she positioned one of her arms to the left side of Ranma, cutting off any retreat while using her right hand to do her dirty deed. A triumphant (although some would call it disturbing) grin spread over her face when she finally succeeded in grabbing the hem of the nightie, but before she could go through with the crime she received a punch in the face courtesy of the still asleep redhead and ended up embedded in the wall.

"Huh? Whaaa…" Ranma slowly opened her eyes and blinked a few times as she took in the unfamiliar room, wondering where she was. Her attention was drawn to a noise coming from across her bed just as the memories of the previous day gradually trickled into her mind and she was very surprised to see Yume slowly trying to extirpate herself from the wall before falling to the ground and cursing in pain when she succeeded.

"Damn! That smarts."

"Huh? What happened?" The young girl asked the scientist, unable to make head or tail of the strange fate that had befallen the scientist.

"Oh, nothing. I slipped. That's all," Yume put on her best smile and demurely lowered her head in embarrassment.

Nervous sweat formed on the scientist's brow at the sceptical look the redhead was giving her, until her rational mind took over once more. There was no need to be apprehensive. After all, there was no incriminating evidence that she'd attempted to do something society might consider objectionable. Damn prudes.

"Riiiight! And I bet it's normal to sneak into sleeping children's bedrooms early in the morning. Probably trying to do something perverted once again."

"What?" The bespectacled woman looked indignantly at the young girl. "Well, I would never… Do you really think that little of me?" She looked sadly at the child.

Ranma's deadpan look said it all and Yume quickly cleared her throat before changing the subject.

"Ahem! Anyway. It's time to get up or you'll be late."

"Huh? Late? For what?" The young girl asked. She didn't remember making any plans for the day.

"For school, of course. Today's your first day. Classes start at eight and you have to get ready."

"SCHOOL! What are you talking about? Why should I go to school? Look at me. I can't go to school looking like this," the redhead objected while demonstratively pointing at her own body.

Yume had expected Ranma's reluctance, but she was prepared for any eventuality. After all, she had spent more than two hours coming up with plausible arguments. "For one, school is obligatory for kids, and we must avoid drawing any official attention or you can kiss your cure goodbye. Sadly, society doesn't understand nor encourage my efforts in bettering mankind. No, all those ingrate moralizers that are constantly going on about ethic and similar strange and outdated concepts will never acknowledge my work and probably even oppose it, although it's a historical fact that progress can only be made through some sacrifices.

She shook her head in disappointment before gazing intently at Ranma. "You DO want to get back to your normal age and get rid of your curse, don't you?"

"Well, yeah. But I doubt the local high school will accept me when I look like a kid."

The scientist gave the redhead a bright, if a bit mischievous smile. "Wellll… Who said I was talking about high school?"

"WHAT? You can't mean…"

"I'm afraid there's no other choice."

"No, thank you. I won't go back to elementary school. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I really don't want to go through that again."

"Unfortunately you have to since you've already been accepted. My sister took care of it and phoned the school yesterday. They are expecting you today."

"WHAT?" Ranma shook her fist at the scientist in anger before pointing an accusing finger. "How could you do that without asking first? You're not any better than the old man."

"I'm sorry," Yume tried to sound convincing, "but I really only have your best interests at heart."

"By sending me to school? How do you figure?"

"Well, you told me you've been learning martial arts all your life and never really had a childhood. I thought you could benefit from leading a more normal life for a while and to make up for all the typical joys of childhood you couldn't experience. Don't tell me you never wondered what it would be like to be like the other children when you were young?"

This explanation actually got Ranma to think and she had to admit that there were some truths in what the young adult had said.

"Well, I can take a look at least, I suppose," she agreed. "That doesn't mean I except, though. If I don't like it I'm out of there."

"Alright," the bespectacled woman quickly agreed. This was probably the most she could achieve at the moment.

The redhead let her head hang in defeat. At least she could attend school as a boy since no one knew her there. "Do you have some clothes for me?"

She pointed at a closet Ranma hadn't noticed before. "You'll find everything you need inside."

The martial artist opened the door and slammed it shut in disgust. "There are only girls' clothes," she spat out.

"Well, yeah. What's the problem?"

"They are girls' clothes. I can't go to school as a boy wearing girls' clothes."

There was no going back now. This was THE big moment. She had been expecting the redhead's reaction of course and if her acting skills weren't good enough all the efforts she had put into her little project would have been for naught.

"You won't be going to school as a boy," she explained softly and gave the redhead a very convincing, sad look.

Ranma just stood there mouth wide open, too shocked to protest. Yume had counted on this and grabbed the destabilised girl into a hug before she could recover her wits. She needed the redhead to remain unbalanced for a little longer as she was easiest to manipulate in that particular state.

"Before you blow your top, please hear me out," she let go of the martial artist crouched down, and looked her into the eyes. "You are probably very angry at the moment, and I know I'm partially to blame. You see, I really planned to register you as a boy, but my mistake was to mention it to Mikuru. She absolutely wanted to take care of it and she didn't listen to my objections. You must have noticed how forceful she can be. Once she's decided something it's impossible to changer her mind."

"Well, couldn't you have called the school again to correct the mistake?" Ranma growled at the bespectacled woman. "That shouldn't have been too difficult."

"Wouldn't work," she sadly shook her head. My sister has decided to take you to school herself. She was quite adamant about it. I think she enjoys having a 'younger sister' to take care of."

"DAMMIT! You REALLY have it in for me, don't you?" The martial shouted into the air and balled a fist at whatever God was meddling with her life all the time. She then let her head fall in defeat and muttered some unintelligible words while stomping over to the wash basin. She really needed a glass of water now to calm down.

Yume was grinning and inwardly celebrating her success, mentally giving herself a pat on the back. _'I love it when a plan comes together'_. Hannibal Smith had nothing on her when it came to self-praise, or so she thought.

Ranma noticed the stupid look on the young woman's face and snipped her fingers a few times in front of her face to wake her out of her reverie. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" She asked venomously.

"Huh?" The young woman snapped out of it and cringed when she saw the accusing look on the redhead's face. "Ack! No, of course not! Why would you think that?" She vehemently denied, angry with herself about the slipup.

"Then what are you so satisfied about?"

"Oh, that. It has nothing to do with you." The perverted scientist appeased the annoyed child. "I was just thinking about the nice breakfast waiting for us. Mikuru is one hell of a cook let me tell you. I'm sure she's outdone herself today; she loves to impress guests with her cooking talents. Just think about the mountains of food waiting for us downstairs."

Ranma did just that and immediately calmed down as a bit of drool formed at the corners of her mouth and her stomach roared in hunger.

"Yes, that's right," the genius continued to divert the redhead's attention, having detected her weakness to food the previous day already. "Lots of food; tons of food; however much you like. Have a quick bath and get dressed and you can stuff yourself with as much food as you can eat. Does that sound good or what?"

"I hope for your sake that you're not lying!" Having given her warning she turned around and left the room, leaving Yume alone and thus giving her the opportunity to implement the dastardly plan she'd come up with.

**01234543210**

"Damn that woman! I doubt there is anyone more irritating than her in the world," she cursed as she did her morning ablutions, not realizing that this was pretty much the pot calling the kettle black as there were quite a lot of people who thought the same thing about her. Funny, how the world works sometimes. _'I hope that the food is edible at least',_ she hoped as her imagination conjured up interesting images of a very large table covered from one end to the other in all sorts of delicacies. It was with these thoughts in mind and in a much better mood that the martial artist climbed out of the bathtub. Just as she had finished towelling herself off she realized that in her earlier anger she had completely forgotten to grab some fresh clothes. She cursed and looked around for her nightie… which seemed to have mysteriously disappeared. Muttering about annoying and perverted older women she wrapped herself in the towel and silently opened the bathroom door, poking her head through the crack, checking the surroundings for any roaming sexual predators. Having confirmed that the coast was clear she rushed back to her room and immediately locked the door. She let out a breath of relief, but back-pedalled when she turned around and saw the lolicon standing there, obviously waiting for her.

"What are you still doing here?" She asked, staring at the woman with suspicion.

"Well, I never had the time to tell you where I put the unmentionables."

"Where?" The redhead gruffly asked.

"In the dresser in the corner. There's a large collection of every type of lingerie you'll ever need."

Ranma opened the different drawers and was thoroughly disgusted by the large selection; this was just as bad if not worse than the stuff in the closet. Every item was either disgustingly cute or disturbingly racy. _'What sicko makes bras and panties like that for kids?'_ she wondered and made a grimace when she examined the leather thong and leather shelf bra she had grabbed.

"Don't you have anything more unisex or at least plain?" She asked.

"Nope. I didn't know you were a boy when I bought them. I thought you'd like them." _'I know I do'_, she added mentally.

Not having any other choice Ranma looked through the selection and decided on some of the less revolting choices consisting of blue and white striped panties (while tossing away the matching bra she thankfully didn't need yet). Out of the closet she took a pleated, yellow skirt similar to the one she had worn the day before, and a yellow blouse embroidered with flowers.

She went through the drawers once more, just to make sure there wasn't anything more appropriate, only to confirm that she'd already chosen the tamest outfit.

She was about to untie her towel when she noticed the scientist still standing there, glasses gleaming malevolently and drool flowing out of her mouth, a camcorder in her right hand.

This really made the redhead blow her top. "OUT!" She shouted loudly and violently kicked Yume out of the room after smashing the camera to bits.

The lolicon smiled victoriously, having anticipated Ranma's reaction. _'Operation 'distracting the victim with a false camera when the real one is well hidden and recording everything': SUCCESS!'_. She could hardly wait to recuperate the camera later and peacefully watch the movie while everyone was out.

"The nerve of that woman!" The martial artist slammed the door shut. "She's almost as bad as Happosai."

She grumbled a bit more while getting dressed and after she was done she checked her appearance in the full size mirror hanging on the closet door. She made a face when she realized that the skirt was even shorter than the one she'd worn the day before. It would be quite a challenge not to flash her panties with every step she took and give every pervert in town a good look at her unmentionables. '_Well, at least it looks good on me_', she admitted reluctantly as she examined her reflection more closely.

**01234543210**

Mikuru was busy in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the large breakfast she had prepared at Yume's insistence. She doubted that anyone could eat that much, but even if there were leftovers she could always reheat them.

She was just putting the last of the dishes on the table when Ranma arrived. She squealed in delight when she saw the cute little girl uncomfortably shifting around in the entrance, hoping no one would comment on her appearance.

The redhead flinched at the outburst and before she could mount a defence she'd already been engulfed in another one of the teenager's hugs, suffocating once again on the mountains of flesh her head had been pushed into.

"You're so cute!" the top-heavy girl exclaimed as she lifted the defenceless child into the air and kissed her on the forehead before letting her down again.

Once her feet touched the ground the young girl jumped away and pushed against the wall with both arms, breathing heavily as she was trying to recover her breath.

'_Damn. Those fleshy things should be classified as lethal weapons. You coul kill someone with them'_, she thought.

"Have a seat! Breakfast is ready," Mikuru announced after her sister had joined them.

Ranma took her assigned seat at the table and loaded her platter with a reasonable amount of food… for an adult. Yume didn't blink an eye at this having witnessed the legendary Saotome appetite the day before, but her sister on the other hand stared at the comical spectacle with her mouth wide open; she recovered very quickly though as this didn't rate all that high on her weirdometer compared to some of her sister's past inventions.

"My, you sure can pack away a lot. Aren't you afraid to gain weight?" The younger of the two sisters asked.

Ranma just smirked and went for seconds, loading her platter with even more food this time before devouring it in a matter of seconds. "Heh! No problem. I'm a martial artist; I burn a lot of calories. Don't worry."

"Totally unlike my sister," the scientist teased, "although with her all that extra weight goes right into those ugly gigantic bags hanging on her chest.

"Yume!" A blushing Mikuru chided her sister. "Don't say things like that."

"What? It's true. Those disgusting blobs of flesh grow like crazy."

"Heh. You're just jealous," Ranma interjected, "because you're flat as a board."

"Hnn!" The scientist coffed. "I'll have you know that I fit the profile of the typical Japanese woman. Those… things are unnatural on a Japanese chest. There's nothing more beautiful than a small chest with proudly erect nipples… that just beg to be touched… and fondled…," she stopped speaking as her mind drifted into one of her usual creepy fantasies… again.

"Whatever," the redhead waved off. "I don't want to hear it," she continued before shovelling in the next load of food and burping loudly. "Sorry about that," she apologized and put a hand in front of her mouth.

Instead of getting angry Mikuru just smiled at the girl, although her twitching eyebrow was a very strong indicator of her real feelings. "My, that was… really impressive, but please slow down. There's more than enough and you'll get a better appreciation for the food if you take the time to taste it properly."

The redhead blushed and nodded. She had completely forgotten that without fat, lazy pandas around to steal her food she could relax. _'Hmm… maybe there ARE some upsides to my situation. I should make a list and, who knows, if I can come up with enough arguments I might even end up liking it,'_ she thought. _'Naaaa!'_ She shook her head and wondered where that stupid thought had come from.

Having finished her copious meal a content Ranma leaned back and patted her stomach. "Thank you for the meal. That was great. You're and excellent cook. Almost as good as Kasumi."

Mikuru didn't know who that other girl was but she appreciated the praise anyway. "I'm glad you liked it. Did Yume tell you about school?"

"Yes, just this morning, but I don't really see the point; I'll probably be gone soon anyway," she tried to get out of it. "There are more interesting things to do than go to school."

The temperature fell by several degrees as the high school student's body was emitting a chilly aura that made Ranma wonder if she had mastered the soul of ice. "Young lady! I will not tolerate such an attitude in this house. Getting an education is primordial for your future life, and even if you're not staying for long that's not a reason to neglect your studies."

The redhead didn't answer and looked away from those narrowed eyes that chilled her to the bone. She didn't even protest as she'd realized right away that this was a battle she wouldn't win. The older girl just had the kind of authority you couldn't defend against, just like her mother, another person she could never win an argument against. "Alright, I'll go."

Mikuru's attitude changed once again and she smiled at the young girl as she put her hands on her shoulder. "I know, it's probably frightening to you to be in a new environment far away from your parents, but I'm sure a big girl like you can manage. Think of all the new friends you will make. Just try and have fun and you'll come to like it; you'll see."

Ranma let her head fall in defeat and just nodded. She thought back to her childhood, but she could only remember bits and pieces of that time and couldn't remember elementary school at all. She hadn't spent much time there after all, what with the constant travelling and training. In fact, the only memories she had left of those days were about some very painful training sessions. She couldn't even remember if she had had any friends at all, except for Ukyo, who she'd probably only remembered because she was a fellow martial artist and had been a nice sparring partner.

Mikuru interrupted the redhead's introspection. "Well still have a few minutes, but you should get ready. We don't want you to be late on your first day, now do we?"

"Nah! Don't bother. Just tell me where it is and I'm sure I'll find it. I'm a big girl already after all. You said so yourself." This was a last-ditch effort to keep at least parts of her dignity intact as being led to school like a little kid was just too mortifying.

"Of course you are," the youngest sister smiled indulgently at the child. She found that tough-guy attitude of her charge just too endearing. "You are a big and courageous girl, but as long as you are in my care it's my duty to make sure you're alright. It would be careless to let you go alone on your first day, especially since you probably don't know where it is."

Ranma gave Yume a pleading look, but the young woman just shrugged. "Nothing I can do," she silently moved her lips.

She let her head fall in defeat and put on her shoes, very slowly, trying to delay her inevitable fate as long as possible.

When the redhead was ready her self-appointed guardian nodded and took her by the hand.

"I'm old enough to walk alone," the martial artist protested and tried to free her hand, gently, since she didn't want to hurt the other girl.

Mikuru let go and clasped her hands together before grabbing the younger girl's cheeks and pinching them slightly. "Aren't you just darling? You're so cute when you try to act all mature and grown-up. I'm sure you'll turn into a real heartbreaker when you're older. Tough girls seem to be the rage lately."

Ranma had never felt so humiliated in her life but didn't say anything. It was simply impossible to get angry with the older girl who only tried to be helpful. _'Just like Kasumi'_, she thought.

The two girls continued their way, the older one not taking the younger one's hand again. Mikuru led the way, while Ranma silently followed behind. The latter felt miserable as she was unable to come up with a plan to ditch her watchdog and maybe try enrolling as a boy. For once she hoped that someone would attack, just to get her out of this, no such luck. After about five minutes they had finally reached their destination; a rather large estate surrounded by an impressively solid brick wall.

"Excuse me, Miss. Could you direct us to the headmaster's office, please?" Mikuru asked the woman guarding the entrance.

"Headmistress, actually," the guard corrected the high school girl. "It's very easy to find. Just go inside, turn to your left, and follow the corridor until you reach the last door. You can't miss it; there's a large bronze plaque mounted next to it."

They thanked the young woman and left towards the main building. Ranma looked around and grimaced when she saw the official uniforms. She felt already better about her own clothes, if only slightly, and hoped that she wouldn't have to wear those ugly things, but as far as she knew uniforms were only mandatory in middle and high school. The strange thing was that she was sure she'd seen those uniforms before, but couldn't remember where. Oh well, it couldn't have been all that important if she didn't remember.

They knocked at the door and were welcomed by the headmistress' secretary. Mikuru filled out some forms and once these formalities had been taken care of the older girl took her leave after waving at Ranma who was following the secretary as she took the young girl to her new classroom.

The redhead was a little bit nervous as she had no idea what to expect. Her memories of Furinkan and all the craziness going on there had definitely left a mark on her psyche and she hoped that things would be bit more normal here. Well, keeping away from any liquid hot enough to trigger her curse should definitely help. If she had known beforehand how much trouble the curse would cause her in Furinkan she would have put a lot more work in keeping it a secret. She was different from the others, and she knew it. She also wasn't naive enough to think that she'd ever have a chance at a completely normal and uneventful life. However, if no one learnt about the curse she could at least avoid being labelled as a freak or a pervert, which would make her life at least a bit easier. She doubted that this peaceful neighbourhood could deal with all the craziness that tended to follow her wherever she went, and that she had hopefully left back in Nerima, although she wouldn't be surprised to meet Ryoga one of these days. Ryoga! The name alone was enough to sour her mood. That damn bastard would get what was coming to him one of these days; as soon as she was back to normal. And after him it would be Mousse's turn. She would make him rue the day he was ever born.

She was still thinking about her situation when they had arrived at the door to her new classroom. Classes obviously hadn't started yet as the children were still goofing around and playing games in total chaos under the watchful eye of the amused female teacher.

"It's you! You're my saviour!" Someone shouted from behind Ranma and when she turned around she saw a little girl with long black hair giving her a look of worship.

The startled martial artist broke out in a sweat when she recognized the little girl she had saved from being run over. THAT is the reason why the uniform seemed so unfamiliar. _'Dammit! It had to be that school. Just greaaaat. Time to do some damage control'_, she lamented.

"Huh? Do I know you?" She asked nonchalantly, feigning ignorance, hoping that she would buy it.

The child looked puzzled, not having expected that answer. She took a closer look and grabbed a strand of Ranma's hair.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

Not bothered by the new student's outburst the black haired girl examined the strand closely. "It's red," she stated sadly. "That's just too bad. You look just like the boy who saved me. But he has black hair, not red."

"Hmm... I know!" She jumped in the air with glee and came to an outlandish conclusion only a child could come to. "You coloured your hair."

Ranma facefaulted. "No! This is my natural hair colour. I have never seen you before in my life!"

The young girl didn't give up and had already another plausible explanation. "I know. You're his sister."

The redhead groaned. "I'm an only child!" She stated loudly getting the attention of everyone around, and especially the teacher's.

"Oh, hello Ami," she greeted the secretary. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes. This is Ranma Saotome, a transfer student who starts today. She'll be attending your class."

"What an adorable little thing," she squealed, making Ranma cringe at the strident tone. Her face reddened in shame at being once again treated like a little child. She saw a trend here and hated it. She was almost an adult after all, and no martial artist would ever treat her seriously if they found out about this. _'Dammit!'_

If she hadn't been so absorbed by her thoughts she would have noticed that she was pouting, which made her look even cuter.

"Oh, how cute, she's pouting!" The teacher grabbed Ranma's hand and dragged the reluctant new student to the blackboard. The redhead tried to scowl at the enthusiastic teacher, but the absurdly large breasts were in the way. They were even bigger than Mikuru's and the martial artist, who had always been proud of her good looks, was feeling slightly inadequate, although she'd never admit it to anyone, not even to herself. She wondered if there was some kind of growth hormone in the water, but discarded that notion immediately seeing that Yume was flat as a board.

The redhead tilted her head to the side which let her see the teacher's profile. She had long, nicely styled black hair and was dressed very casually, wearing a plain sweater and long skirt. She looked surprisingly normal except for her large chest which probably drew a lot of attention.

She clapped her hands and once she got the attention of the class she introduced the new arrival. "Class, we got a new transfer student today. Her name is Ranma Saotome." She wrote the name on the blackboard before continuing the introduction. "Please give her a warm welcome."

"Hello, Ranma!" They shouted in unison making the redhead feel uncomfortable at all the attention she was receiving.

The teacher noticed the new student's reaction and took her into a motherly hug, giving the suffocating redhead a strong sense of déjà vu, although at that time another pair of scandalously oversized mammaries had been involved. Thankfully, after some effort, she managed to extirpate herself from the awful situation and immediately took her distances from the dangerous person who had almost killed her, a thing even Prince Herb had not been able to do.

"You're a shy one, aren't you?" The teacher asked good-naturedly. "Well, I'm sure your new classmates will help you with that. Why don't you take a seat and we can begin?"

Ranma nodded and, taking very slow steps, she joined the rest of the class. As she reached the first desks she was jumped by a spiky haired girl who kissed her on the cheek.

"Hi, Ranma, I'm Anna. Anna Mizuhara."

"Hey! What did you do that for?" The redhead complained as she cleaned her face with her sleeve.

"It's a greeting. Everyone does it." The attacker explained.

The redhead looked around and when she saw the other kids she felt like a gazelle about to be attacked by a pride of lions. She didn't even have the time to pray or write her will before she was jumped by a few other kids who kissed her on the cheek too. She tried desperately to get away but it was no use. After the assault was over she rubbed her face frantically trying to get rid of all the spit.

"Hey, Rin." Anna called out to the girl who hadn't participated. "Why don't you greet her too? It's because she's full of spit, right?"

"Gee! Whose fault is that?" The redhead asked sarcastically. "Keep your germs away from me."

"No, it's not because of that," the black-haired girl answered. "I'm saving my first kiss for my saviour."

Ranma was crying inwardly. _'No! Not another one! And a kid to boot! Dammit! Why can't I ever get a break? With her in the class I can't even attend as a boy. She must never find out, whatever the cost. I already have enough creepy stalkers after my virtue'_.

"But even if I can't kiss you we can be friends, right?" Rin asked with shining, puppy-dog eyes and hands clasped together.

"Yes! Of course!" The martial artist answered quickly, unable to resist the cuteness and innocence this girl was radiating.

"Alright everyone," the teacher's clapping interrupted the sickeningly sweet scene, "that's enough. Now that you're acquainted let's have some fun with mathematics."

MikaMika-sensei as she was called by the children wrote a few numbers on the blackboard before turning around and looking at the class and at Ranma especially. "Alright then. Ranma, let's see what level you're at."

She took her pointer and tapped the first arithmetic problem on the blackboard. "How much is 2 + 2?"

The redhead sweatdropped and wondered once again why she had to suffer through this. She had solved problems like that years ago, and even then she couldn't care less. Why oh why did she have to do it again.

"I know it is hard," MikaMika-sensei comforted the martial artist, having incorrectly mistaken her silence for ignorance, "but I'm sure you can do it if you use your fingers."

Ranma reddened fiercely out of shame when the class started to laugh. "I know the answer!" She shouted as she got up and banged both hands on her desk in anger. "It's really not hard."

"What is the answer then," she smiled, finding Ranma's reaction just too endearing.

"It's 4," the redhead answered challengingly, arms crossed over her chest. "All too easy," she continued haughtily.

"Very good, Ranma," the teacher clapped enthusiastically. "How about we try something a bit harder?"

"Bring it on!" Ranma accepted the challenge.

"Let's see. How much is 27 - 3?"

The other students watched the drama with rapt attention and they held their breath, eyes drawn to their new classmate's lips, eagerly waiting for the answer.

Ranma, ever the showwoman, gave a triumphant smirk, oozing confidence as she waited a few moments longer to increase the tension that was tangible in the room and to see everyone's reactions before calmly answering, "24."

"Ooooooooh!" Was the collective reaction of the class at the confident and cool way in which the answer was delivered, but their attention was now drawn to their teacher, waiting for her to confirm or refute the answer.

"That-That is correct," she had a hard time believing her eyes. Her new student was a genius; she had to be.

"Yay!" The whole class clapped, whistled and cheered Ranma on, who was basking in all the attention. Then she made the victory sign with her fingers, feeling no shame in using the unfair advantage her former status as a high school student was giving her.

"Alright, that's enough!" The teacher tried to get the children to calm down and she managed to do so after one or two minutes.

Nothing else happened for the rest of the lesson as MikaMika-sensei focused her attention on some of the other students who were not as good as Ranma, for obvious reasons.

During recess Ranma tried to find a calm spot to eat the bento box Mikuru had prepared for her, but her newfound popularity made that impossible. She understood that as the new kid her classmates wanted to know more about her, but there wasn't much she was willing to tell. However, the few half-truths she told seemed to satisfy her fans and got them to leave her alone.

The only ones staying behind were Anna and Rin who both had quickly taken a liking to the interesting redheaded girl. She really didn't mind too much since they didn't bother her while she was shovelling down the food, but only looked at the disgusting scene with astonishment.

Barely a minute after she'd started the abnormally large bento box was already empty. The two spectators were clapping enthusiastically and Ranma scratched her head in embarrassment.

"How did you do that?" Anna asked with much enthusiasm. "How? Tell me! I want to know!"

"Heh! For a martial artist like me that's nothing. I have a very high metabolism and need to eat a lot of food. I've been training for many years after all."

They didn't know what 'metabolism' was of course, but the mention of martial arts and training was good enough for them.

"Whaaah! Really?" Rin clutched her hands together and looked at Ranma with stars in her eyes.

Anna on the other hand happily jumped up and down and clapped.

The redhead's overly huge ego raised its ugly head and she couldn't help it but just had to show off, not even thinking about the fact that she was flashing her panties to anyone watching, and one of her classmates in particular who would in the future prove to be as much of a pest as Kuno. She showed the two young girls some basic moves that would make anyone in Nerima yawn, but were good enough for some impressionable kids who didn't know much about martial arts. A few of the other kids around her were watching the performance, but since she had chosen a calm spot with few people around and didn't do anything more impressive than what you could see in a competition on TV she was mostly left alone. However, she had to admit that she liked the oohs and aahs the few spectators were giving her.

She didn't have the time to show many moves, though, as very soon the bell rang and she had to return to class. She finished her kata and bowed a few times to Anna and Rin who were both clapping and cheering her on.

It was a very chipper redhead who re-entered the school building in company of her new friends. She loved all the positive attention she was getting from her schoolmates. She just hoped that unlike at Furinkan it would stay that way at this school, not that she had any intention of staying very long of course. As soon as she got her cure she'd return to Nerima and settle some overdue scores with her rivals.

Classes continued much the same way as they had ended before recess and Ranma very quickly got bored as the lessons were much too easy. She doodled into her notebook and entertained her classmates with some impressive juggling with pens, books, and whatever else she had on her desk whenever the teacher's back was turned.

When the closing bell finally rang the martial artist got up and quickly stashed her stuff into her satchel and rushed to the door.

"Wait for us!" Anna shouted.

Ranma stopped and looked at the waving girl who joined her at the door, Rin in tow.

"How did you like your first day? The class is fun, right?" The constantly cheery girl asked and Rin nodded, quite curious herself. "MikaMika-sensei is really nice, don't you think so?"

"I guess it was okay," she answered.

Anna pouted at the lack of enthusiasm. "Only okay?"

"No, no! It was fun," the redhead quickly amended her statement as she didn't want to disappoint her new friends.

"I'm glad," Rin took the martial artist's hand in her own. "I was afraid you didn't like us."

"No! You guys are great. I really enjoyed having class with you," she told them with more conviction in her voice and she felt relieved when she saw them smile. She didn't know why but she'd always hated disappointing little children. "Let's get out of here," she offered and was quickly followed by the other two.

As they were leaving the school grounds Ranma took her leave from her friends and waved at them a last time.

"Did you have fun?" A teasing voice came from behind the startled redhead's back and was immediately rewarded with a swift punch to the face which sent the surprised Yume to the ground.

"Why did you do that?" She angrily asked as she rubbed her aching nose.

"It's your own damn fault," the redhead countered, not feeling sorry at all for the woman's plight. "You shouldn't have surprised me like that!"

"I'll... take that advice under consideration for the future," the genius meekly answered.

"So, did you have fun?" She asked once again.

"N-No! Of course not!" Ranma quickly denied the young woman's accusation. "There's no way I'd ever have fun in elementary school. I'm a man, not a little kid. And don't you forget that!"

"Oh really? So it wasn't you I saw having fun with those two little girls? Could have fooled me."

"Wha-Whatever!" The martial artist tried to stay cool and quickly changed subjects. "Let's go."

"Alright. Hop in!" Yume said as she was pointing at the small basket sitting atop the handlebar of her bike.

"W-WHAT? Forget it! I'm not a little kid. I can walk by myself and I'm faster than your bike anyway."

"Suit yourself," the scientist shrugged although she inwardly cursed at the missed occasion. It would have been so easy to look under the skirt if Ranma had accepted. '_Ah well, there'll be other occasions_', she cheered herself up. "Okay then, let's go home."

"Could we look in on Dr. Tofu first?" Ranma asked. "I'd like to know if he has found anything."

"Why don't you just call him? He's probably busy with his patients at the moment. He has a medical practice to run after all."

"Yeah, you're probably right," the redhead agreed. "It's just that I really hope he has some good news for me. I want to go back to my real age as fast as possible."

"Are you really sure you don't want to stay like this? You really did seem to have fun at school."

"NO! Absolutely not!" She angrily refused. "And there's no need to ask again. My opinion won't change, EVER!"

Not much was said on their way back home, but Ranma replayed the whole school day in her mind and she couldn't hide the grin of pure joy forming on her face. When she thought back to what she had told her friends she realized that she had truly meant those words. She really had had fun, not that she'd ever admit it; especially to Yume, or she'd never hear the end of it. It was really nice not having to think about all the problems that were waiting for her back in Nerima, even if it would only be for a short while.

Posted: 2012/05/15

Revision 1: 2012/05/24


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